Leni P.

About Leni P.

NWMSU 16' - International Business International traveler since 06' Est. in 94' Living life in FINLAND - NOW I'm a connoisseur of life, and you're invited to dine with me! Join me on a journey to embrace all things coffee, all things food, and all things culture! Stay encouraged, Loves! - Leni P.

America v. Finland: A Princess Complex?!

I had taken a month long break from the Lovely University of Lapin AMK. During that time, it wasn’t truly a vacation; it was spent navigating the Spanish bureaucracy to obtain a visa (“Fun” times, Believe me). While returning back to Tornio, Finland (literally on the train back), my housing emails had still not been responded to, thus, I was homeless.

Frantically, I’m trying to get in contact with the program intern or the program director. They must be able to do something, right? They would be the person willing and able to change something or help, right? Wrong, the response I received wasn’t my expectation at all.

In a nutshell, I was told that it was the weekend, I should have contacted them earlier, and that they were busy. Of course, this starts full panic mode. Of course, I try to reach out to the director, which I was told she was busy and she shared the previous thought as well. The suggestion: stay with someone else for the night, and go to housing on Monday. It was Saturday. After 26 hours of travel, running on 4 hours of sleep, and a protein bar, I was not a happy camper AT ALL.

I received a message the next morning as I was holed up in a classmate’s kitchen, that the housekeeper would give me a key later on in the evening. I could’ve wept. Three others were in the same situation as myself, and we all were going to be on the floor of a mutual acquaintances one-bed room.

On Monday, class resumed in the summer school. I was still peeved that such a thing occurred. It was then the Director of the program addressed the situation by stating that “some” (meaning me) of us have a “princess complex.” It meant that we expect people to do things for us as we command. The Director stated that in Finland, weekends are sacred and work life is separate from weekend life. We shouldn’t expect additional assistance, outside of emergencies, during these times.

Shocked, and admittedly pretty irritated with that statement, I came to a realization. In the US, we don’t compartmentalize our responsibilities. We maybe on vacation, or out of town, but we are prepared to answer work calls whenever to create 24-hour service. Even if it is not our job, we expect to have service or assistance from someone, somewhere at all times. Specifically, in academic services, professors answer emails on weekends, residence halls have RA’s or hall directors for aid, and so on. In Finland, when things close, they CLOSE.  It doesn’t help that the emergency contact in the building doesn’t speak English.

A situation that I believed was an emergency was seen as merely a temporary inconvenience that I could figure out. The ideals of customer service are definitely different. In the US, we are much more demanding because, culturally, we believe that we should get what we paid for and then added services to keep us coming back. Customer Satisfaction is important in a competitive market, so it is valued heavily.

Customer Satisfaction is still greatly valued in Finland. However, it is customer service as defined by the rules. You will receive a quality product with great service, but when the time comes to close, or the task is outside of the usual means of operation, you will receive a simple “no, it cannot be done.” Of course, it depends on who and what company.

I was pretty disappointed with this as an international student who felt stranded in an unfamiliar land and not receiving the help I expected from the host school I was attending. However, it is a lesson learned. When you travel, you must change your expectations to fit the local culture.

America v. Eastern Asian Beauty Standards: It’s Cute?!

In the Arctic Summer School at Lapland University of Applied Science (Shameless Plug), we have many different nationalities. The 33 students hail from many different parts of the globe, however, we have a sizeable portion of the class from Eastern Asia. Of course, beauty standards differ in various areas.

For example, in the US, we have been making movements that support body positivity with #Effyourbeautystandards in an attempt to embrace beauty of all sizes, or the natural hair movement to encourage women to love the hair you are born with. Many more movements exist and more pop-up with increasing popularity, all with an attempt to make beauty a more inclusive term. Eastern Asian countries, in my experience, tend to steer toward a specific standard of beauty that promotes thin bodies and pale skin.

Not only is that a cultural norm, it appears that it is public scrutiny of your appearance is common, particularly in the family structure or with people you are closer to. I was told that mothers can easily tell their children they are fat, or need to stop eating so much, or to stay out of the sun out of love. In the US, we would easily consider that to be emotional abuse and unbelievably rude.

You can only imagine my reaction, when a classmate come to me, and while feeling my arms says that they are “fluffy like a marshmallow.” When I expressed how that was kind of offensive, the response was “It’s cute!” This is the same classmate that disclosed her mother’s tendencies to criticize her body. I was definitely ticked off and more than a little bit upset that someone who I felt close to would make such a rude and insensitive comment.

This point was noted again when a second classmate from eastern Asia patted my stomach and stated how had the same stomach, as she poked hers out and laughed. The original classmate then said “See!” It was meant to be in reference to Asian culture’s openness to discussing the body in negative/positive (depending on which end you come from) lights. Even after I explained how the statements were offensive, it was laughed off as if unimportant. When I asked how does it make them feel for their mother to say those things? I was expecting them to say it made them feel negatively, to inspire them to maybe not say those comments that I considered to be so rude. It was once again just laughed off and it was deemed to be normal and common, therefore unimportant.

I left that conversation very upset. 1) I felt like my feelings weren’t considered at all. In the US, if you offended a friend, even without the intent to offend, you would apologize. That wasn’t the case here. 2) I was saddened. Over the short period of time knowing these young ladies, I had heard them refer to themselves as fat and ugly. I had watched as they tried to stay out of the sun because darker skin or a tan would bring scrutiny to them. I had listened to their stories of their family members speaking of their bodies negatively. And the worst part, to me, was that they viewed all of this normal, as if it should be expected to hear and say these things.

The comments I felt were rude and would never refer to a woman’s body in such a way, especially in public, is common place. So when I was hurt and offended by the comments because my culture has deemed them insensitive, another culture saw no issue with comments therefore there was no reason to apologize.

Cultural differences play a huge role in how we view ourselves and others. While America is trying to push away from conventional standards of beauty, other cultures may have a totally different view on dismantling, or maintenance, of beauty standards. I still don’t appreciate the comments that were made (and admittedly how they responded to it as well) however, it has made me realize some important things.

  • Self-love is crucial. I could let someone define and dissect my body based on their own preferences and biases, but how could I ever truly be happy always trying to live for the acceptance of someone else? My body may not be where I want it to be, but I love the skin I am. I whole-heartedly believe that I was not designed to be anything other than me.
  • Culture plays a role on what is tolerated. Things that I felt shouldn’t be said, were perfectly common to someone else. Though, I may not like it, it’s important to be considerate of someone else’s culture (even if they aren’t considerate of your feelings lol).
  • Finally, Words matter! As much as I would like to say the words didn’t affect me, they did. They made me look at my body in a way I hadn’t previously. It was very unsettling for a simple sentence could make me question myself. It made me wonder, how many conversations did I walk away from feeling fine while the other person felt belittled, ugly, unattractive, or stupid? Probably a lot, I may not have been my intent, but it was the reality. Instead of building someone up, I have, at some point and time, either deliberately or accidentally, torn them down and made them feel less than the wonderful person that they are. It’s a harsh reality, but a great reminder that sticks and stones leave physical scars, but words leave wounds that only the soul feels so deeply.

My Life at the ArcticSummerSchool!

Hey, Bearcats and Bearcat Family!

I’m currently studying at Lapland University in Tornio, Finland for the summer! I’ve got one month down and two to go! Instead of just telling you about how great and wonderful my experience has been; I’ve decided to show you through this colorful cartoon! Actually, it was for one of the many projects I’ve had to do this summer, but STILL it’s got some really great info in it! So…sit back, relax, and enjoy the film!